Monday, December 17, 2012
We Are Not Our Mistakes
We all make mistakes. It is an unfortunate aspect of human nature that we are neither omniscient, to make only the correct decision in every situation, nor omnipotent, to make everything occur as it should be. The reality is that we often make the wrong decision, or we make the right decision, but with poor execution. The common result is that things don’t turn out how we want them to. We may end up frustrated or embarrassed, and oftentimes the pain of making a mistake can be big enough to prevent us from trying again.
The worst lie we can tell ourselves is that we are our mistakes. And from time to time, we are all guilty of doing this. We all have a tendency to believe that if we were a better person, a smarter person, a more attractive person, a braver person, a (insert your comparative adjective of choice) person, we would not have made that mistake. And maybe that’s true. Maybe a smarter person would have known to act differently. Unfortunately, when we fail to realize that we can become that better person, we find ourselves immobilized by fear and self-doubt. We tell ourselves that we shouldn’t even bother trying again.
Now, most of the mistakes we make in our life are trivial and they don’t weigh us down: “Oops, forgot to plug in the slow-cooker before I went to work, so the chili isn’t ready to eat at dinner time!” Very few people would see that as a sign they should stop cooking. But sometimes we mess up so badly that we can’t see any way out. Usually this happens when our mistake causes other people significant harm: maybe a student didn’t carry their weight on a group project and caused everyone in the group to get a much lower grade; maybe a parent didn’t confront a child on their choice of friends, and now that child has been arrested for underage drinking; maybe a boss bet on the wrong new product line and now everyone in that division is about to be laid off. It’s mistakes like these that can lead us to doubt ourselves and our ability to good in the world. It’s times like these when we most need to recognize that we are not static creatures.
One of the hardest parts of my life, and especially my experience with the Southwestern Advantage internship, has been to come to grips with areas where I’ve messed up, and it caused someone else pain; the areas where my lack of leadership led to other people failing in their own goals. These things happen, and the natural tendency of a mature person is to blame and punish him- or herself. This is not a helpful thing to do.
So what can we do when we’ve messed up? How can we get past our failures and learn from them? It’s not easy, but I think there are few steps that can be taken to turn the pain around.
First, allow yourself to feel the negative feelings you have without dwelling on them. It’s important to experience the negative consequences, because it will help you understand the need to be more careful in the future, but you don’t want to beat yourself up over the event.
Second, apologize to those you’ve hurt. This includes anyone directly or indirectly affected by your mistake, and also includes yourself. Let them know that you did not intentionally inflict this pain on them, and that you want to do better in the future. Then get their feedback on how to improve.
Third, forgive yourself. I wish I could tell you the best way to do this, but unfortunately, this is the step I need to work on the most. I find that spending time in prayer and looking for the lessons in the failure tend to be the best ways to move myself into that space of forgiveness.
Fourth, take action. The longer you sit, immobilized with frustration and embarrassment, the harder it will be to get moving again. Once you’ve apologized to those who have been hurt, find some sort of positive action you can take to make things right AND DO IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! The sooner you get yourself going again, the smaller that mistake will seem in proportion to everything else that’s going right in your life.
We all make mistakes, and if we let them, they can destroy us and our vision. But if we recognize that to err is human, and we apologize to those affected, we can move on and use those mistakes to help us become the people that we are meant to be, the best possible versions of ourselves.
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Jaselyn Taubel Corporate Recruiter at Southwestern Advantage |
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Educator Reviews - Edna Rogers, National Teachers Hall of Fame Member
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| Edna Rogers - National Teachers Hall of Fame |
Overall rate: Superior
Strongest area: The material leads to high-level thinking, gives opportunities for problem
solving, gets the student thinking beyond the classroom.
Favorite section: 'The Author.' It is very informative, challenges the student to reach for an understanding of what, why, where, and who writes books, poem, articles, and so on.
Most informative section: 'The Audience.' Often, students are not taught these critical skills until college level. To read the points for being an audience is very good for the student to think about before being required to write a paper or essay.
Most inspiring section: 'Reader’s Response.' The statement “the same text can mean different things to different readers” is a statement that I wish had been told to me at an early age. It would help the student to use his/her mind, explore, and use imagination, and know that each student is unique.
Expanding information: Graphic features and design. Pertains to real life experiences and it’s good to have this explained in the literacy section.
Best statement: “If you can restate the idea presented in your own words” is a wonderful
guide for helping students to grow in comprehension!
—Edna M. Rogers
33 years as a classroom teacher; Tennessee Teacher of the Year; National Teachers Hall
of Fame; board member, The Dollywood Foundation and Berkshire Education Scholarship Foundation
M.S., B.S., University of Tennessee
Thursday, November 15, 2012
In Everything Give Thanks
“How happy a person is depends upon the depth of his gratitude.”
–John Miller
I tried as a young father to inculcate an attitude of gratitude in my children when they were young. I tucked them in at night, said a prayer with them, and then I’d ask, “What are you thankful for today?” I wanted them to appreciate who and what they had. The first sign of maturity in a young person is gratitude. 
Now all of us know people who are thankful—they are appreciated and heartening to be around. Conversely, we can all think of a few self-centered, ungrateful people, who we, not surprisingly, tend to avoid.
Dan Sullivan, founder of The Strategic Coach, says: “We can achieve endless progress and success in our lives as long as we are increasingly grateful each step along the way. Lack of gratitude is one of the biggest obstacles to personal progress.”
In his pamphlet, “The Gratitude Principle”,Sullivan identifies three types of people who inevitably struggle: those who feel sorry for themselves, those who consider themselves “self-made”, and those who take their success for granted (“born on 3rd base”). As Life throws these people a curve, there is plenty of blame to go around, but certainly, they have no gratitude.
So, how do we create meaning and value from the inside out, rather than expecting good things to impact us—and make us happy–from the outside in?
Answer: take stock daily of what you’re thankful for.
Before you go to sleep tonight, take two minutes to answer these gratitude-inducing questions:
- What am I grateful/thankful for?
- Why am I thankful?
- How can I express my gratitude?
- First action to take
Here, I’ll show you what I come up with—in a few seconds:
- What am I grateful for? My health.
- Why am I thankful? I know I’m a wimp when I’m sick, nearly non-functional. So I’m glad to be currently healthy!
- How can I express my gratitude? Thank God, for starters, that He has blessed me with this.
- Action: Quick prayer reminder: 1 Thess. 5:18—“In everything give thanks….”
Taking a few minutes at night or first thing in the morning to ponder what you’re grateful for yields positive benefits. Doing this quick exercise for 21 days not only wards off cynicism, jadedness, resentment, and complacency, but also leads to a brighter, proactive outlook on life.
Your future is what you appreciate today.
What do you do to be thankful? How do you reframe your circumstances to be grateful?
Lee McCroskey | @rleemcc
Director of Leadership for Southwestern Advantage
Friday, November 2, 2012
Educator Reviews - Keil Hileman, Kansas Teacher of The Year
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Keil Hileman - Kansas Teacher of the Year |
"I love the setup and easy access for data. The pages look great. I believe you have achieved your goal of creating pages that are open and visually appealing, while making sure students get what they need to review for tests and/or what they’re likely to need as they attempt to do their homework.
I compared the topics and chapters to our U.S. history book, and they matched up very well.
- The tables, charts, and 'Did You Know' sections will help students very much.
- Time lines are great—useful and easy to read.
- Spotlights are nice and useful.
- Clear bold headings help with keeping interest and readability.
- 'Now You Know' sections are a great way to sum up!
- I love the maps with clear headings, descriptions, and explanations.
- FYI sections are helpful.
20+ years as a classroom teacher (grades 6–8 social studies/museum studies; grades 11–12 honors archaeology and artifacts; Kansas Teacher of the Year; 2004 National Teacher of the Year finalist
Educator Reviews - Benita Bruster, Ph.D
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| Benita Bruster, Ph.D. |
"Southwestern Advantage has hit an absolute “home run” with the new Social Studies and Language book. This resource guide contains critical elements to build student success in Social Studies and Language Arts. The publisher provided a comprehensive package to prepare students for achieving their educational goals; the book, the on-line Web-based support, and the software are all inclusive elements included with this text.
One of the most impressive parts of this book is the organization. Students need to be able to find information easily and quickly; this book is easy to use with multiple ways to access information. The color coding on the edges of each page will guide students to the areas needed without flipping page by page. Simply turn to the color-coded section and the information you are seeking will be there. The index is also extensive and well organized. The index topics are in bold print with color in the center to facilitate searching for a particular topic extremely fast, and [it is easy] on the eyes.
The Social Studies and Language Arts content are unparalleled. The Social Studies content is divided into six strands with an uncomplicated color-coded guide to direct students to the area they are studying. The six strands cover all of the important topics for Social Studies: United States History, Canadian History, Government, Economics, World History, and Geography. Throughout the Social Studies section, the colorful guides, time lines, extensive maps, charts, and stories not only provide an excellent overview of content, but will engage students in reading to learn more. The “Now You Know” summaries provide students with the gist of the important in only a few lines. These features are critically important for struggling students or students who are English Language Learners.
The Language Arts content is well organized and contains elements of all the language arts: reading literature, writing, complete with grammar and organization tips, listening and study skills, speaking, and viewing. This Language Arts guide provides information for students that will improve their writing skills. In-depth examples of common grammatical errors, spelling examples of many confusing words, and word usage are at the tip of your fingers. The “Watch Out” feature will improve students’ awareness of common errors in writing and is woven throughout each section to provide a quick reminder for students. The “FYI” tips are extremely helpful and provide a clever way to entice students to reflect on their learning. The readability of this resource is extremely reader-friendly. The bold text, color, frames, tables/charts, and the placements of items on each page will encourage students to use this guide.
This Social Studies and Language resource guide is an integrated collection of information that is critical to student success in school and in life. This comprehensive resource text, the on-line support, and the Web-based materials will support lifelong learning and achievement for students."
Associate Professor of Reading and Literacy, Department of Teaching and Learning, College of Education
(M.A., University of North Texas; Ph.D., Texas Women’s University)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Jay Kiew, DTM
We want to give special recognition to one of our company reps Jay Kiew from the University of British Columbia. Jay has been a member in Toastmasters since his first year at UBC and has just completed his 5th full year. He recently achieved the respected honor of not only receiving the incredibly prestigious DTM Award, but also became the youngest Distinguished Toastmaster in the world at the age of 22.From the Toastmasters International Wikipedia page:
Distinguished Toastmaster
Toastmasters awards its highest honor, Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM), to members who have achieved both the Advanced Communication Gold and Advanced Leader Silver awards. To achieve the DTM typically takes five to eight years of dedicated service and leadership in at the local club, area, and division levels. DTM candidates must also perform more than 40 public presentations both inside the club and out in the community (as part of earning the prerequisite Competent Communicator and Advanced Communicator awards). Fewer than 12,000 of Toastmaster's 4 million past and present members have achieved the elite DTM status. Some dedicated Toastmasters members have achieved multiple DTM designations. Members who have earned their DTM are usually honored and presented with a medal at a district conference following their achievement.
The Distinguished Toastmaster title is not necessarily the end of the journey for most Toastmasters. Many Toastmasters will re-enter the program and repeat it at least once more. Every iteration through the program affords the individual additional experience in either the chosen direction or a totally new direction at their discretion.
The record for the youngest Distinguished Toastmaster in the world is set by Jay Kiew at the age of 22 in September 2012.
Jay's positions in Toastmasters have included VP of Membership, then President, and then moving ahead to Area Governor. His experience has given him the opportunity to deliver over 180 speeches, presentations, and workshops. In the spring of 2012, Jay received his degree in Political Science from UBC and is originally from Singapore, Singapore. His work with Southwestern Advantage began in the spring of 2009 and continued until the fall of 2012 as he recently began work as a marketing consultant in Vancouver. Thank you Jay for the impact you have made on hundreds of families, your fellow students, and friends during your time with Southwestern, and for the inspiring things you're continuing to accomplish in your life!
Follow Jay online at jaykiew.com and on Twitter at @jaykiew.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Avoiding Emotional Black Holes
I'm sure that at some point you've been around a griping, whiny person who has devolved into an emotional black hole. Their negativity is so overt that they not only affect themselves but seem to sap your energy and attitude as well. Some people brighten rooms upon entering while this type of person brightens the room by leaving it.
In a blog I read by Geoffrey James, he offers some suggestions on how to improve your own attitude and increase your ability to influence others in a positive and helpful way. Here are some of his suggestions:
- Stop using negative phrases such as "It's impossible," or "This won't work," because they program your mind for more negative thinking and negative results. Instead, say phrases such as "That might be challenging," or "We should think of some alternatives," that leave the possibility of eventual success open and available.
- Whenever somebody asks, "How are you?", don't come out with something depressing or uninteresting like, "Hangin' in there" or "Same old, same old." Instead respond with something more enthusiastic and exciting such as "Terrific!" or "Fantastic!" or "I've never felt better!" Then make that your reality too.
- Stop complaining about things you have no control over such as the economy, your company management or leadership, customers, etc. Focus instead on what you can change, influence, or accomplish.
- Stop griping about your personal problems and illnesses. What good can it do other than to depress everyone else? Remember: This too shall pass. Do what you can to deal with your problems and then use your remaining energy to keep yourself on track and in high sprits.
- Substitute neutral words for emotionally loaded ones. For example, rather than saying, "I'm enraged!" say, "This is making me feel a bit annoyed..." or (even better) "I've got a real challenge here." Neutral words keep your mind from getting into emotional feedback loops that keep you feeling miserable.
I like these reminders. I need to review them myself. Our words are powerful. They have consequences. What we choose to say, whether in casual conversation or in a professional setting, can make a significant difference. Be aware of what you say and how you say it. Listen to what comes out of your mouth and make a conscious decision to avoid becoming an emotional black hole.
Lee McCroskey
@rleemcc
Director of Leadership, Southwestern Advantage
Don't Play The Blame Game
this is all captured on video. however, as soon as the ornament breaks, my brother turns to the camera and screams, "haley did it!!"
the video pans to me in my footie holiday pajamas, minding my own business as i stood there watching -- not being very productive, but definitely not dropping ornaments on the floor. for my 4 year old brother, his diversion of blame was pretty clever, even cute. but to divert blame as a mature individual -- nope, not so cute anymore. a waste of energy is more like it.
you, and you alone, are 100% responsible for your own life.
same goes for me; same goes for everyone else. no one but ourselves should take the blame for the status of our grades, the quality of our relationships, the state of our health, our jobs ... everything!
every result and every output is your responsibility. is everything that happens completely under your control? yeah right. but how you respond to your circumstances sure is. it's not someone else's responsibility to make you happy, to get you an A in class, or to make sure the boss gets the report he requested from you in on time, or to even make you feel fulfilled in doing your life or responsibilities. it's also no one else's fault if you fail to do these things. there's no one coming to the rescue but you.
once we accept personal responsibility for our own situations, and decide to hold ourselves accountable for every aspect of our lives -- we can much more effectively create our experiences or situations to be the way we want them to be. blaming bad PR, jerky people, or crummy facilities doesn't do yourself one bit of good. what's much more effective is using that energy to collect the pieces, and proactively work to create the results you desire. you know what you would like to accomplish. you have an idea or even a clear picture of what it takes to achieve it. accept that it's your responsibly to get there, and decide that you are going to make it happen, no matter what happens in between.
"if it's meant to be, it's up to me."
@haleyjoprice
Lexi from SkWids.com
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Be You
i did this for quite some time. i think we all do it at some point, for some length, and usually for some irrational reasons. but, it's important to understand that we were each put on this planet to embrace our quirky, sophisticated, daring, goofy, edgy, unique, passionate, shy, lovable human selves.
don't ever take that appreciation away from yourself. notice it. embrace it. celebrate it. bask in it. learn it. and most importantly -- love it. your light is in there -- you can't truly live your life while being afraid to ignite your own flame.
like american novelist edith wharton said, “there are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
if you're spreading light either way, i'd encourage you to be that wonderfully unique candle giving off a pure light of your own instead of attempting to be an identical reflection of another. it's way more fun than trying to be somebody else.
@haleyjoprice
Lexi from SkWids.com
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